Let’s set the scene. You wake up to your blaring alarm at 7a.m. as if you hadn’t been awake mere hours earlier, fighting for your life with a mounting pile of papers, an impossible Classkick and thirty pages of incomprehensible social studies reading. You physically peel yourself out of bed and open your phone: -34 degree windchill, blizzard conditions, icy roads and risk of frostbite and hypothermia. School: still on. Sorry, Charlie, better luck next time!
You finally escape your house 10 minutes before school starts because your sibling decided to have the full shower spa experience. As you fishtail out of your neighborhood, you pass a huddle of shivering freshmen waiting for the bus. Aww, that’s cute. Those poor souls probably don’t know their bus won’t be coming for another hour. Tragic.
You finally skid into the school parking lot and find you’ve earned the death march from the tennis courts to the far-away front entrance. To what class do you get to make your dramatic, late entrance? Math. Of course it is. You walk in at 9:07 to an immediate jump scare: desk dividers up and the unit test you conveniently forgot about has been distributed. Just great! You take a seat and pray the right formulas will miraculously appear in your head.
Surely after that horrible start to your day, the universe would be done torturing you, right? WRONG. Next up: pool day in PE. Mind you, it’s somehow just as cold outside in the January weather as it is in that god-forsaken arctic pool. You leave class trailing water and your last sense of whimsy in this unforgiving world.
Perhaps after those horrible first two periods, maybe treating yourself to a little snack from the cafeteria wouldn’t be a bad idea. Well, your My School Bucks balance would beg to differ. You have a balance of a whopping -$120. No one said that saving was easy.
You walk into your social studies class late because of the generationally long lunch line only to be smothered by a wave of unbearable heat. Outside, the weather is below freezing, but the classroom has somehow reached 95 degrees and has the humidity of a tropical rainforest. You somehow leave social studies wetter than you left the pool that morning, which feels illegal. So far, not a good day, but the good news is you only have one period left: English. How bad could it be? It’s just semicolons, sentence fragments, sunshine and rainbows, right? Wrong.
You are immediately deployed to the trenches of an in-class timed essay because why not have one last horrible hoorah for the day? You’re almost at your conclusion when suddenly the screen goes black. Your chromebook is dead. Clearly, the universe is showing no mercy.
“Does anyone have a chromebook charger?” you timidly ask the class.
Dead silence.
Well, I guess you just have to look at your blank screen until the bell rings and your grade plummets. Better luck next time!
Congratulations! You made it to the end of the school day! Bad news: you still have extracurriculars until 9 PM. After being at school for literally 12 hours you realize that homework isn’t going to do itself and you get to work on what feels like double the work you had the night before. As your head finally hits the pillow, you are relieved that your day of hell is finally over, but you’re already dreading the sequel when you get to do it all over again.
