Oh, Libertyville parking, you have always been a bit chaotic and haphazard. One must only stand outside at 7:15 in the morning to witness the mad dash for a decent parking spot as traffic clogs every aisle and road. And in the midst of the free-for-all, one can’t help but cry out to the god of parking, asking for respite.
Well, fear not, humble mortal, for the parking god has answered your plea and presents you with a quick guide to parking around town. And just like the face of Jesus in grilled cheese and toast, the answer is found…in bread.
The Main Lot
The bread and butter of parking. Spaces are plentiful, and the distance is wonderfully short to the building. Because easy access during lunch release is so desired, demand is high for these prized spots. And because of their value, competition inevitably ensues between seniors. However, one’s vehicle will largely be at the mercy of the elements here, as well as mischievous students, and at the end of the school day, traffic flow slows, as the scramble to get home is interrupted by pedestrians and the traffic light.
Keep an eye on: The row nearest the school. Proximity is everything for this lot.
Tennis Court Lot
If the main lot is the bread and butter, then this one is… just bread. The lot is still on-campus and relatively easy to access, but it is also a little healthier given the walking distance. Thus, it’s just not as good.
Keep an eye on: The back gate. You’re leaving school, looking forward to getting home, playing some music, glancing at the teams practicing out on the field, and then you see the gate. And boom. It’s closed. Now you look foolish as you try to U-turn out of that narrow dead end or slowly back out.
The Back Lot
In keeping with the bread analogy, these lots would be wheat bread. There’s really nothing wrong with them, and some drivers even prefer them. They’re as close, convenient, accessible and seniors-only as the main lot and yet… they’re just not the same. Plus, you may have to park next to Butler Lake. Your car could end up smelling funny, or it could be pulled in and eaten by the Butler Lake Monster.
Keep an eye on: Those speed bumps as you come to the front entrance. Most people understand them, but there’s still a minority who believes speed bumps are actually just miniature ramps. (And in the case of these speed bumps in particular, they’re not that miniature.) If you want to see how much air you can get, go for it, but don’t complain when you’re explaining to mom and dad how you wrecked your suspension while playing pretend "Dukes of Hazard."
Brainerd
Most would say this is sourdough, especially in the wake of the recent ticketing spree The Man conducted during school some weeks ago. Technically, juniors aren’t supposed to park there, but the hammer was brought down so rarely few really cared anymore. Plenty of juniors complain about the distance, but it’s really not all that bad once you get used to it.
Keep an eye on: The windows of the building. If you see strange lights or activities, call Ghostbusters immediately. Also, watch your windshield. If you find a slip of paper there one day, hopefully it’s just a Chipotle coupon.
Dymond
Burnt toast? Something like that. While closer to the school than Brainerd’s lot, there are less spots and plenty stories of goods stolen right out of the cars. This assures Brainerd’s bread-related superiority over Dymond. However, out of all the possible parking locations, this one is the best sheltered from weather (if you care that much about your car).
Keep an eye on: The car’s locks. It doesn’t matter how hot it gets: Don’t leave your windows open. You can’t be too concerned. This isn’t downtown Chicago, but the combination of the secluded location and bad luck could make drivers really sorry.
Nicholas Dowden
Moldy, moldy, moldy bread. Everyone and their mother would have to park in every single one of the aforementioned locations in order for someone to park so far away. You would only park here if you were a runner and wanted to get in a quick workout before and after school. (Some even consider Dowden to be a province of Narnia, in which case, you would be better off riding to school on Aslan.)
Keep an eye on: The faun. One really can’t trust that Mr. Tumnus fellow. Follow the friendly talking beavers instead. They’ll get you to school safely.
Lake Street
Forget bread analogies. You would have this writer’s eternal respect (and possibly an interview in Drops of Ink) if you parked at the Lake Street lot and then used a rowboat to cross Butler Lake to and from school. This would also earn you the nickname Captain Ahab, but it’s a term of endearment--don’t worry.
Keep an eye on: The horizon. The murky depths of Butler Lake can be treacherous to navigate. The light breeze and stagnant water will test any sailor’s mettle. And keep the harpoons close at hand. You never know when you’ll have to fend off the Butler Lake Monster.
photos by L. San
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