There are two types of people in the world: the technologically advanced and the technologically impaired. The worst thing about the latter is their lack of texting skills and their inability to communicate properly to the rest of the people who are keeping up with the times. Here are a few tips to make living in this technology-obsessed world a little bit easier for the less advanced texters.
+ Use predictive text carefully: One misspelled word can change the entire meaning of a message. No need to create confusion if it can be avoided.
+ Check the message’s: If you’re gossiping about your best friend with someone else, the last thing you want is for him/her to accidentally ready it. Check who your recipient is to prevent utter chaos.
+ Don’t overuse “Lol”: If you’re not actually laughing out loud, do not use it. Nothing is funny that often.
+ Don’t use excessive punctuation: “Hey” and “HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” are not the same thing. It’s really confusing when people make every statement sound like the Declaration of Independence. Unless what you are saying affects an entire country, dial it down a notch.
+ Don’t be too eager to respond: It’s very creepy when, having just put your phone down after sending a message, it’s vibrating a second later. After you receive the message, contain yourself and wait at least a minute. And if the person doesn’t respond within 30 seconds, it’s probably because they have a life. It’s not a personal vendetta against you so don’t take it personally.
+ Don’t use obscure smiley faces: They’re weird and confusing. Try to avoid using anything other than the traditional J and L. If it looks like you’re puking via text message… delete it.
+ No single word texts: After receiving a one word text message, one word comes to mind: attitude. If you don’t want it to be taken as attitude, add another word. Nothing is more annoying then receiving a “k” after sending a three page text. If you’re not interested in talking to someone, don’t respond.
+ Don’t make up your own acronyms: If you can afford to take the time out of your day to make up an acronym that no other person knows, you should not have a phone.
+ Don’t send chain text messages: People don’t care if a clown is going to kill them at 12:14 after supposedly killing a small child in Indonesia. And if, on the slight chance that actually did happen, buying some pepper spray is wiser because sending a text message to ten other people will not prevent death it will only increase annoyance.
+ No unnecessary mass text messages: When you’re so desperate to speak to someone that you send the same, “Hey!!!!! What’s up??” to fourteen different people you should buy some cats or find a therapist because no one should be that starved for contact.
photo by G.Smith