First off, hallways are like roads. We drive on the right side of the road, so you should walk on the right side of the hallway. This creates a nice flow...unless you walk on the wrong side of the hallway simply because you can.
Slow walking is...well...slow. But there is a way, to do it. If you walk slowly, walk on the outside of the hallway, next to the wall this way, the speed-walkers can maneuver around you. It is like a highway. The left lane is for fast drivers, the right is for the slower-moving vehicles.
Three little letters come next: PDA. You’re in love. Fabulous. Now if you could just contain that love until after school (or at least after the passing period) so people don’t have to witness and/or try to avoid you, that’d be peachy.
The awkward hugging and stopping to chat with your friends in the middle of the hallway: This is very annoying. It is cumbersome to walk behind you as you stop to talk to your bestie about the latest gossip. Please, move your conversation to the side of the hallway, or slip them a note as you walk past each other. This prevents a collision between you and the person behind you.
Okay, so you have a ton of friends. That is fantastic. But it is beyond annoying when you and your friend mafia take up half the hallway. Instead, go to a corner, or split your group in two and go to different areas. You will be just fine if you’re not with your multitude of friends until lunch.
Again, friends are amazing. But walking in a wide chain down the hallway, bulldozing everyone as you go, is infuriating. Walk in two lines, walk in four-- walk in any amount other than as one wide chain o’ friends.
Okay, hallway crossings are tricky. But when you, a burly boy, push everyone out of the way, it’s like, “Come on! Can you please save the wrestling for the wrestling room, and don’t crush the others walking down the hallway!”
Hallway crossings: Here’s the deal with them. Keep the right lanes and left lanes organized. Yes, it gets blurry right in the middle. The best thing to do is be polite. Say “excuse me.” Say “sorry” if you cut someone off. If worst comes to worst, keep your books in front of you as a shield to those who choose to be rude in the mosh pit that people call hallways crossings.
Illustration by I. Alesna
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