If you could be any animal, which would you be and why?
A very strong-willed lemming. I’m not saying I won’t jump off a cliff. I’m simply saying, I will be the one others follow off.
If you could spend a day doing anything, what would you do?
Reading. My love of movies and video games is vast, but nothing gets you into a story, puts you next to the action/characters, like reading a well-penned story.
If you had a million dollars, how would you spend it?
I would buy a nice, reliant automobile…or a monkey. I’ve always wanted a monkey.
If you could be in any movie, which would you pick and why?
Joe vs. The Volcano: It’s a simple story of a man tricked into believing he is dying, fooled into throwing himself into a volcano to appease the volcano god of an island so a billionaire businessman can earn the mineral rights to an ultra rare metal. Along the way he has a tropical adventure, jumps into a volcano (and lives), falls in love and has the coolest luggage ever known to man. Who wouldn’t want that?
If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
"Ender’s Game" by Orson Scott Card. There is just something relatable about a super-genius kid and his struggles to fit in…
What is your biggest pet peeve?
Oxymorons in the real world. Examples include “acting natural” and “Independent Artists.”
Given the chance, would you bungee jump? Why or why not?
No. For some reason I cannot put trust in an elastic band designed to stop my 9.8 downward journey and then whiplash me towards my point of origin (generally a large concrete structure).
If you could attend any concert, whose would it be?
I would love to have seen Perry Como in concert. Modern Artist…Bare Naked Ladies.
What was your favorite subject in high school?
English Lit. I was fortunate enough to have a teacher who saw my lack of participation/interest in class as me being bored and not simply lazy. In the span of one semester, he was able to challenge me, teach me how to understand what I was reading, and infuse in me a love of the written word.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Godric Hollows… or the Island from “Lost.”
Who do you admire most and why?
The person I admire most is Professional Bowling Hall of Fame Member, Ernie Schlegel. He is the first Bad Boy of the PBA. He excelled at his craft, and did things his way.
What is your favorite holiday and why?
St. Crispin’s Day. Mostly for the motivational speech.
What do you think is the best decision you’ve made in your life?
The decision to devote my life to comedy. I would rather spend my life laughing than constantly worried. “Real Life” problems will always be there, no matter what. Sometimes it’s good to just have an escape, even if it is only the twenty seconds it takes to hear a joke.
If you could be in any cartoon, which would you pick?
Avatar: The Last Air Bender. How cool would it be to bend the elements?
Why did you get a Dark Mark tattoo?
As a reminder. I hope that answer is vague enough.
Who is the funniest person you know?
My grandfather is the funniest person I know. I get my sense of humor from him.
Do you have any nicknames and how did you get them?
I have several, and I earned them in the usual ways. From the simple (KaGe, Kenny G) to the unique (Commander), the cliché (sport, champ, hey you…guy) to the ones only family would dare give you or call you (*name withheld)
Did you do any extracurricular activities in high school?
Soccer, baseball, wrestling, tennis, student athletic trainer, Math Team, Academic Bowl, Performances (acting and crew) Drama Club… I pretty much did everything I could, pending free food.
If you could live in any time period, which would you choose and why?
Post World War II America. As an era, it just embodies the American Dream.
If you could do have any other profession, what would it be?
Author, Playwright, Actor, Comedian, Director, Grade School Teacher. There are too many to simply pick one.
What is it like to work at the same place as your mom?
My mom works here? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I would have made her bring me lunch every day.
photo by Katy Marhenke