If you could be one animal, what would it be?
I was going to say a Great White Shark, but then I realized that goes against one of my reasons for not being a pirate: the whole eating of seafood thing. Let’s go with something fast like a cheetah. I have always wondered what it would be like to be able to run fast.
Favorite non-existent sport?
Well, I think competitive eating is now considered a sport, so it could not be that. It would have to be napping, then. I think I could bring a lot of excitement to the sport.
Which planet would you most enjoy visiting?
Coruscant, the city planet from “Star Wars.” I figure I could learn some cool Jedi tricks there as well as possibly getting an X-Wing fighter.
What would your WWF wrestler name be?
I would be part of a tag team duo with Mr. Wilcox. We would be known simply as Colossus, and our signature move would be hoisting our opponent over our heads and dropping him straight to the mat face first. I don’t see anybody beating us.
Pro- or anti- Chuck Norris?
Depends. I am pro Chuck Norris from “Delta Force.” I am anti Chuck Norris from “Walker Texas Ranger.”
What are the best and worst decisions you’ve ever made?
The best decision I ever made was to go back and finish my senior year of college. That year taught me everything I will ever need to know about how deal with success and failure. The worst decision I ever made was any decision that was immediately followed be me saying, “Well, this clearly was a big mistake.”
Who, living or dead, would you most want to meet and why?
The person I would most like to meet is Pat Tillman, the former football player who left millions of dollars in the NFL and joined the army. He was killed while serving in Afghanistan. I have read a book on him and find him a true hero and an inspiration to anyone who feels that there are still good people out there who are willing to sacrifice for what they believe in.
Pirates, ninjas or zombies?
I would have to say ninja. They have some real cool weapons and they operate in stealth mode. By the time you realized what I did to you, I would already be gone.
What would be your ideal birthday party?
One where I actually go down a year in age instead of adding one year. I’ve noticed that I am starting to get hungry earlier, I am ready for bed at sundown, and for some reason music always seems to be playing too loud.